Day 14: Your earliest memory.

One thing I don’t like about myself is the fact that I can be pretty forgetful. I can leave something somewhere and forget about it minutes later if something more important occupies my attention. And that goes double for childhood memories.

I have a few vague memories from when I was a year old. One that has always stayed in my mind was when I was at a family friend’s house, I was getting my diaper changed, and I was looking up at a ceiling light, crying. I was a baby, so I was probably crying because I had poopy in my diaper. That’s the earliest thing I can remember from my life.

My earliest memory that is actually clear happened when I was three or four years old. We were at the McDonald’s PlayPlace across from my house. In this PlayPlace there was the usual: slides, tubes, a ball pit, and a fifteen-foot tall statue of Ronald McDonald with his stupid boot sticking out. So, I was running around the PlayPlace in my socks, and then I slipped and fell…

And I cut my tongue open on Ronald McDonald’s stupid-ass boot.

It wasn’t a deep cut, but I couldn’t eat anything hot or solid, so I got to eat a lot of ice cream in the week after that happened. That’s the earliest thing I can remember, and that’s why I hate Ronald McDonald so much. Because he is a bad man, and he made me cry.

I’ll “put a smile on” when that clown gets the boot as a mascot.

TOMORROW: Write fifteen interesting facts about yourself.

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